


on feeling helpless.

by berrybang



Series: and thus, my story ends. [2]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 3RACHA, Hurt/Comfort, another panic attack vent fic sigh, don't read this if u're sensitive to panic attacks & major anxiety, sighhhhhhh, why am i like this, you already know the drill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-01-14 14:30:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18478168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/berrybang/pseuds/berrybang
Summary: Have you ever felt so helpless that you genuinely cried out for your mother, thousands of kilometers away?Or, Bang Chan has another panic attack. It's still not clickbait and it's still sexual because maybe Bang Chan just wants to be somebody someday.





	on feeling helpless.

**Author's Note:**

> send bang chan pics rats

Bang Chan has felt helpless before, many times.

But this has got to be the peak of his patheticness. He's shaking and laying on the floor, his forehead pressing to the hard, cold bathroom tile, crying his eyes out. "Someone, someone please help me!" Tears are hitting the floor and his hands and body feel numb. The inside of his ribs is but a roaring fire, preventing him from breathing properly. "Mommy..." He feels pathetic crying out for his mother, even if she's thousands of miles away. 

Now he doesn't understand why this is happening again. He really, really doesn't. Maybe it's the pressure JYP has put onto him lately, to be a good leader, to create better songs - but all he remembers is that sick, nauseous feeling twisting and swirling around in his stomach once he got to the studio again. But he tried to ignore it - reassuring himself with stupid words like 'It's just a stomach bug,' 'Nothing bad is going to happen,' 'I just don't feel well  _physically_ ,' but it's all in vain. Because once again, fucking time and time again, he's on the bathroom floor, feeling like an ocean.

But his ocean is loud and wants to be heard and comes in the form of salty tears falling down. "Mommy, someone please fucking help me," Chan knows no one will hear him. He's alone, and the echo that rings, and bounces off the wall, of his very own cries reminds him of that. It fucking stings.

The echo is just there to mock him. It's the nail on the head, he's alone.

He tries to get up. He attempts to, at least. The attempt fails once his arms go weak, and he falls again. His head thumps against the floor and he lets out such a pathetic little whimper. He yells out to someone, "Help me!", trying to get up again but his chest is burning. He falls.

He curls in on himself, trying to protect himself and God. He wishes he had the emotional capacity to feel relief once he hears commotion in the room next to him. The door clicks open, "Hyung?" It's in the distance. But it's close enough for Chan to reach out and feel it. So why is he still crying? "Hyung!"

He looks up and sees two pairs of feet, and by the voices he thinks it's Changbin and Jisung. Fuck. He doesn't want them to see him in such a pathetic state. He closes his eyes slowly, accepting that at any moment right now, he could die.

Jisung (presumbaly) works to get Chan uncurled, which he lets him do. His body is limp and numb, anyway. Changbin pulls him up so he's sitting, and he engulfs him in a backhug. Jisung kneels down in front of him, tapping his face lightly. "Hyung! Open your eyes!"

Chan flutters open his eyes for a split second, and he sees the expression on Jisung's face. From the wrinkles on his forehead to his trembling lips, Jisung looks terrified. He looks like he doesn't know what's happening - Chan doesn't blame him. Chan doesn't know what's happening either.

His eyes close again, and he's met by a chilling black screen and the echos of his friends screaming his name.


End file.
